Look for my forthcoming book, to be released February 2012, The Right Side of Forty – The Guide to Increasing Happiness for Gay Men at Midlife and Beyond.
You can pre-order on amazon.com and save 32%, here’s the link: The Right Side of Forty
Here’s an excerpt from the book’s introduction:
As we get older, most gay men struggle with coming to terms with aging in a youth-obsessed culture. In spite of trying a variety of methods such as Botox, making self-deprecating jokes about getting older, and lying about our age we often find ourselves right back where we started: sad, terrified and confused about getting older. After over two decades of working with gay men, I’ve discovered a secret to slowing down your aging. No, this is not some quick fix you read about online. Rather I’ve found the most effective way to slow down your aging is to embrace it. You heard me right – stop running away from getting older and learn to embrace life after forty. Contrary to what many of us believe, your best years aren’t finished once you’ve left your thirties. In fact, you’re entering one of the most potentially rewarding periods of your life and you may not even know it. The Right Side of Forty is your guide to achieving the happiest, healthiest life you can have as a gay man at mid-life and beyond.
There are many relevant issues when it comes to aging. Increasing body aches, slowing down, and death of elderly parents are a few examples. But that’s not what this book is about. Instead our work here is strictly in one area of your life – how you relate to other men and what you can do about improving it to increase your happiness and connection to your gay identity. Why is this relationship so important? Because for most of us our childhoods relating to males our age didn’t go well. Is that true for you? Did you fit in with boys your age or did many of them scare you? How we fit in as well as whether we fit in as children establishes a social pattern within us that we carry into our adult lives and impacts our comfort interacting with other men when we become openly gay. When we see that dynamic clearly and understand the imprint it has left on us this awareness then creates new opportunities for us to triumph in spite of that history. The Right Side of Forty will show you that as older men, pride and joy is evidenced not by our looks or body fat percentage but by our success and comfort engaging other men.
It doesn’t matter if you are in your twenties or your seventies. You have a story all your own, and you are never too young or too old to enhance your interactions with other males. The Right Side of Forty takes midlife as the point of departure for self-improvement because it is the moment in your life where you transition from one phase into another. Getting old can be scary for anyone, but with the right tools it doesn’t have to be.
It’s not important if you have never been in therapy or if you already have a therapist. I now want you to start thinking of me as one of your therapists. Our focus will be on improving yourself through understanding more about how and why you interact with other gay men.
Advance Praise for
THE RIGHT SIDE OF FORTY
“A talented psychotherapist and teacher, Bob Bergeron brilliantly shows how gay men can consolidate the challenges of the past into positive identities that provide the strength and fortitude to move through their middle years and beyond, with compassion toward themselves and their brothers. He also teaches them new ways to have fun, feel sexy and create communities that are meaningful and relevant to their age.”
Stanley Siegel, Former Director of Education at the Ackerman Institute of Family Therapy in New York and author of The Patient who Cured His Therapist, Uncharted Lives, and Your Brain on Sex.
“The Right Side of Forty is a thorough and much needed guide to aid gay men through the complex voyage that begins after age forty. Bob Bergeron has assisted many of my own patients, where his help has been invaluable due to his keen insights and personal experience. As a healthcare provider myself, I look forward to Bob Bergeron’s book to provide insight into this overlooked area.”
Frank Spinelli MD, Clinical Director of the HIV program at Cabrini Medical Center and author of Advocate Guide to Gay Men’s Health and Wellness
